Fighting temptations of the flesh is something I understand, because for so long I didn’t fight them. I not only did not fight the flesh, I cozied up next to base passions and kept feeling like I needed more and more of whatever I was craving – pornography, etc.
It got to a point where I couldn’t go more than a few hours and the urge to “just take a quick look” was unbearable. Or the urge to hit my vape back to back to back was almost uncontrollable. In these moments of desperation I would cry out to God and repent interiorly, and after a feeling of reprieve would just go right back to the same cycle.
We have to meet God, not even halfway but just meet Him and His grace will help us draw near. I lied to myself and said I am trying to live righteously, but still maintaining control over “my” life. Living a superficially surrendered life, and justifying some things I was doing or that God knows my heart nonsense. Nonsense in that I was not being truthful with Christ or myself.
I don’t like to draw attention to myself or anything like that, but God met me where I was. I had what I can only describe as a prophetic dream in which the end of the world was at hand and people were being sorted. Along the way I lost my family. Became separated from my wife and our children. I was reconnected with my wife, but in the dream I could not find our children.
It was as clear a warning to me: Hear I am, come to me Son. If you keep the path you are on, your children will never truly know me, and I needed to fulfill my role as head and leader of the family. To lead us to Christ.
It was almost like the urges were removed, but it was more. They were replaced with tools to help me surrender them. I have been led to pray more Hail Mary’s and Our Father’s than I ever dreamed. Those are my go to devotional/prayers to subdue unwanted thoughts, images, and desires.
Our Mother, Our Lady has such a special place in my heart for how she carries out the will of God and how lovingly she lead us to her son, Jesus Christ.
There is literally a whole cloud of witnesses that lift up our prayers and intentions. We have a truly Holy family to assist us in our times of need. We have Christ that shows us that the enemy, especially satan can be overcome.
God allows these temptations to come to us, and I believe fervently that His desire is for us to come to Him in our needs to overcome these temptations, so that we can be made ready for Heaven by desiring God above all else.
