I have struggled with forgiveness for a long time and in a number of different ways. I struggled with how to truly forgive someone, that forgiveness was not a forget me not pill, and that by my forgiveness my perpetrator was released by grace from the bondage of the sin I refused to let go of.
That is some heavy stuff, and rightfully so. Our Mother is the one who truly touched my heart and taught me about forgiveness. I was early on my journey to joining the Church, and had decided I would try to pray a rosary every day. I was praying the rosary one evening, and Our Mother touched my heart during the Sorrowful Mysteries and I realized that I was such a hypocrite.
There I was, praying and meditating on the life of our Lord and Savior and not fully realizing how I betrayed him in the garden, how my sins got him scourged, how my sins affixed his brow with the crown of thorns, how he carried the weight of my sins in his cross, and how my sins nailed him to the cross, pierced his side, and gave him vinegar to drink.
I was blinded by pride at how I was trying to “do better” in my relationship with The Father. When confronted with the harsh realities of how serious my sins were, well how could I judge someone else of a sin I did not think was justifiable or was more wrong? How could I not forgive things done to me, when all of our sins are the reason Jesus gave himself up to the will of The Father for our sakes.
I was listening to Father Mike and Sister Miriam a few days ago and it struck such a cord how they were speaking of forgiveness and the beauty of confession and removing anything between us and Jesus; and how forgiving someone was a release for both parties. It was beautiful.
We should confess to each other when we have wronged one another and we should forgive when forgiveness is asked. That doesn’t mean to be a doormat or to let ourselves be hurt and abused, but forgiveness also means that we unite our pain and suffering with our Lord and Savior Jesus and through him we can be healed.
