There are times when I feel so strongly connected and rooted in my prayer and faith life that I feel the Holy Spirit so literally close to me. Then there are times where I feel, if I am honest a bit like a fraud. Where I don’t “feel it”, but continue on with the devotionals, meditative prayer, and reading of scripture. I struggle with these feelings still, but not near as much as I used to.
I believe these moments of Spiritual Feast are a reconnecting, or maybe more of a recharge of my spirit. Where I am more acutely aware of God, and more sensitive to His will. I understand that some of these feasts are where I am at in my relationship and journey through and to holiness, and some are fruits of the Spirit.
Just as much as the feasts are important, so is the Spiritual Famine.
I view these seasons in a more positive light now, than at any other point in God calling me. I want Our Father to know that no matter what fickle feelings I may have, that I love and desire to know and love him forever and ever. So especially when I do not “feel” like doing my devotions, or praying my daily rosary, or reading something to increase my time with Him. I do it anyway, and I do it because I’m sure Jesus would have preferred not go through all he did, and the God would have preferred it if satan didn’t rebel and corrupt a number of the angels with him. So I want Our Holy Family to know that my love is a covenant, and I (with the help of the Holy Spirit) want to keep up my end.
I am more peacefully joyful and do not feel like I am riding a roller coaster in life hardly anymore, and that had taken a little getting used to. I am truly grateful for all the times I have with Our Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit. When I feel so close and when I know that it is my time to grow to feel them again.
